Mr Monk and the iPod
by TheMusicBullet
Summary: Monk receives a rather expensive gift, along with a letter that moves him to tears. Monk gets drunk at the SFPD Christmas party. Characters include Adrian Monk, Molly Evans, Natalie Teeger, Dr. Neven Bell, Captain Leland Stottlemeyer, and Julie Teeger.


Natalie Teeger walked into Dr. Neven Bell's office, wondering why he had called her over. It was pretty odd, because it wasn't Mr. Monk's time slot and he had asked her to come without him.

"Dr. Bell?" she called out when she didn't see him in the room. "Dr. Bell? You did call me, right?" She glanced around, mystified. It wasn't like Dr. Bell to just disappear. "Hmmm..."

"Looking for me?"

Natalie whirled around at the sound of his voice. "Oh! Hi. I _was _looking for you. You _did _call me over, right.?"

"Yes, you are correct," he said. "I was in the back room, getting this." He held out a gift box, about the size of a grapefruit. "Give that to Adrian, would you? It's his Christmas present. I also have one for you, my friend," he said, a twinkle in his eye. He gave her another box, about the same size. One of my colleagues made a generous donation to this clinic, so this year, I able to get Christmas presents for my patients."

"Wow, I don't know what to say! Thanks so much. But I'm not one of your patients! You didn't have to-"

"I know I didn't have to. I wanted to. You are just as much my friend as Adrian or anyone else. Have fun with the gifts. You both got the same thing."

_Wonderful. _Natalie thought. _Cleaning supplies. _

"And no, it's not cleaning supplies," he said, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. "I promise, it's much more fun. It will be beneficial to Adrian, as well."

"Wow, you read my mind. No wonder you're a psychiatrist," she joked.

.

_**A few days later, Christmas Day...**_

Monk was distressed as he tried to pick up all of the pine needles on his living room floor. "No, no, no!" he cried. "If they HAVE to fall, why don't they fall symmetrically?"

"Dad," Molly laughed, "It's alright; we'll get them later! Come on, I want to give you my gift!"

Molly Evans, Monk's stepdaughter, had decided to spend Christmas with her stepfather this year. It was the year after they had met, after Trudy's murder had been solved.

"Well... okay," Monk said, smiling like he always did when Molly was around. "I want you to have mine first, though. Here you go." He pulled a present out from behind the tree and presented her with her gift. It was quite large... Maybe four and a half feet high and a foot wide.

Molly smiled and started unwrapping it, being careful not to rip the paper. What do you know? It was a vacuum cleaner. **(What else do you expect from Monk? XD)**

"Thanks!" Molly exclaimed, and embraced Monk. After the initial moment of surprise and germaphobia, he hugged her back. "It's actually just what I needed! My old one broke and I gave it to a homeless man who probably sold to get a month's worth of food. It would have been too expensive to fix it, and he needed it more than me."

Monk was horrified. "You.. You just gave it away? Just like that? That vacuum has dedicated it's entire life to God's work, cleaning... And you didn't even think about it?"

"I told you, he needed more than I did."

Monk hesitated, then nodded. "I'm sure he did. I hope he cleaned himself very thoroughly. He probably hadn't had a bath in ages..."

Molly humored him. "Yes, I'm sure he put it to good use. Now, here's my present!" she said, and she reached into her pocket to pull out an envelope. When he opened it, he almost jumped for joy. It was a gift card to the Mean Clean store that had just opened downtown. "Wow... This is terrific! Thank you, Molly!"

"Well, I know you've been wanting to go there for the longest time. So I promise, I'm coming with you so I can help you carry all the bags you'll surely buy!"

Just then, the door opened, and a familiar, friendly voice was projected into the room. "Hi, Mr. Monk! Hi, Molly!" Julie ran to them and hugged them both. Despite the gap in their age differences, Julie and Molly had quickly become the best of friends. The two girls were as close as sisters, minus the sibling rivalry. "My mom is coming. She'll be here in a second. She forgot something and went back to car to get it.

As Julie had said, Natalie soon arrived. She, too, greeted them, then hugged them both. Monk exclaimed, "How much hugging is there going to be today?"

The three women looked at each other and chuckled. "Sorry, Mr. Monk," Natalie said. "Wipe?"

Monk hesitated, then said, "Y- Er... No, I'm fine."

Natalie beamed at him. "I'm getting prouder of you every day. You're really improving!"

"Well... Thanks?"

Natalie pulled four gifts out of her purse. "Mr. Monk, this one is from Dr. Bell, and this one is from Julie and I. Molly, this one is from me, and this one is from Julie."

From Julie, Molly got a free spa treatment at the Bubble Bath Sauna and Spa, which, incidentally, was right next to the Mean Clean store. Natalie gave her a designer t-shirt. Monk's present from Natalie and Julie was a Swiffer Wetjet. He was thrilled with it. "This is brilliant!" he exclaimed.

"You have one from Dr. Bell, too," Natalie reminded him. Monk extended a hand and took the gift. Before he opened it, he asked, "Why are you smiling suspiciously, as if you know something I don't?"

"No reason. I just know what it is. I got the same thing."

Extremely curious, Monk carefully unwrapped the wrapping paper and his face acquired a very confused look. "It's an... Ippid?" he said, trying to pronounce it.

Molly took a look at it, and exclaimed, "Whoa! Dad, you got an iPod Touch!"

"A... What?"

"An iPod!"

"Hmm, what's wrong with the first letter? I think they made a typo. Remind me to call this... Apple guy tomorrow, OK?"

Natalie sighed with exasperation. "Sure, Mr. Monk." She really didn't feel like explaining it to him. Dr. Bell said he gave you a letter there too. Did you find it?"

"Yeah... Here it is..." He found the letter taped to the case of the... iPod.

..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,

My dear patient and friend, Adrian,

I assume that you may be baffled by this gift. Very true, I would not give it to many other patients of mine. But I believe this will help you by enabling you to socialize more easily, to stay more connected to the world around you more than you currently are, and to have some distractions in stressful times. Also, I strongly believe that music soothes the soul and helps you relax. I'm quite serious, and I think it might be just what you need. No, I'm not being paid to advertise for Apple.

It is my delight to have you as a patient, and I have enjoyed our many talks over the few years that I have known you. I have decided to give Christmas gifts to you and Natalie this year as a way of thanking you both for the joy you have given me. As always, I have your welfare in mind, so it's also a little something to help you on your journey to recovery, as I've already explained to you. Speaking of that, I'm proud to say that you are well on your way to being fully cured, and I am sure that you WILL be.

I'm proud of you, and so is Natalie, Julie, and Molly. I'm sure Trudy and our friend Charles Kroger would be, as well. Merry Christmas, and may God bless you,

Your friend, Dr. Neven Bell.

..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,..,,

As Adrian Monk finished the letter, he had tears in his eyes. He then realized that he had unknowingly read the whole thing aloud.

Natalie completely broke down and started crying. "Aww, that's so sweet!"

Monk started choked out, "I'm pretty sure the real present is in the letter."

Everyone was getting emotional. They gathered together for a group hug.

.

"Ok, I think the hug limit has been reached!" Monk's muffled voice was heard saying.

.

**_That night, at police headquarters, Christmas party..._**

Captain Stottlemeyer checked his watch.

"Monk, it's been ten minutes! I'm pretty sure you've beaten every high score in the world by now! What is that damn game, anyway?"

Monk laughed, "I'm not stopping now! Besides... If I have to stop, it has to be the right number!"

"Of course," the captain muttered. "And what the hell is that music supposed to be? It's the manifestation of pure annoyingness!"

"I LOVE it!" Monk said. "It's called Nyan Cat! It reminds me of... I don't know what it reminds me of... It's fun... But you like it, too! ...You have two mustaches."

Stottlemeyer looked at him suspiciously. "Have you been drinking? I'm sure you remember last time you were drunk." he chuckled, recalling the memory of Monk doing his 'Here's what happened' thing while staggering around the room, blurting out random things and just generally being... Well, wasted.

"NOOoooooOOOOoOOOOooOoOO..." he said, sort of slurring. "I had some non-alcoholic wine..."

"Well, that's what got you drunk last time. The waiter gave you the wrong bottle. Lemme see that..." he demanded, grabbing the bottle of wine from the table beside Monk. "Oh, God, it has a damn warning label on it! 'WARNING: EXTREMELY ALCOHOLIC; DO NOT CONSUME ENTIRE BOTTLE AT ONCE'. I can't believe you failed to notice that!"

Suddenly, gunshots were heard outside the captain's office, in the main room. "Get down!" Stottlemeyer ordered him, shoving him to the ground. He grabbed his gun and ran out to apprehend the offender before he did any damage. Before he could get to the door, however, the man burst in and shot him in the leg. He fell to the ground, clutching his leg in pain. The man didn't see Monk and grabbed a file out of a filing cabinet. Somehow, Monk managed to trip him on the way out. In anger, he shot Monk in the leg. It was only about a second's delay, but it was enough for all the other officers to apprehend the shooter. Adrian Monk and Leland Stottlemeyer blacked out.

.

_**Two days later, at the hospital...**_

Leland Stottlemeyer was having such fun with Monk's iPod! He especially liked the iGun app. He pretended to shoot suspects' legs. His second favorite app was Netflix, and his next favorite was DoodleJump.

The captain glanced over at Monk's bed, where he was still unconscious.

"You know Monk, this thing is pretty damn fun. You might not be able to find it when you wake up."


End file.
